Breaking news: the thing about news channels!!!!!!!!

A sensational post about the news channels!!!!!

Ok, not that sensational. But I had to have at least this much zealous fervour before attempting a piece on them. Twenty four hour news channels are opening up, well, 24/7. And evidently, the content is not much too report about. But we mustn’t be critical. We have got to laud the gusto with which the news anchors tell us about extremely significant issues of great national, nay international importance, like Amitabh Bacchan’s trip to a temple. The gentleman/lady in the suit enlighten us about every minor, yet significant detail, like who were they accompanied by, what vehicles they arrived in, what clothes they wore with so much breathless excitement that you think they might just wet their pants if Amitabh Bacchan was to actually walk into their studio.

Everything is breaking news, as if you hadn’t observed the big, fat captions. Whether it is a disastrous typhoon or Saif and Kareena, there is enormous equality in dealing with all the developments in the world. This is not to say that the news channels do not give importance to the main news. Anything about cricket is on top (omg, step by step analysis of the Bhajji-Sreesanth slap, including the angle of contact, duration of contact, its implications on national policy and eyewitness accounts!!!!!).

Bollywood news is a close second. Then there is the scoop on television shows, primarily saas bahu serials. Crime reporting follows up, with an in-depth coverage that leaves no gory detail uncovered and the reporters who strip the victim of all dignity by discussing every minute detail about their life (privacy, what’s that?).

Then they have coverage of recent developments, what some old-fashioned fuddy-duddy like me would call the real news. You know tragic disasters, political events, economic situations, crises, scams, important changes in different spheres of life, the drill. There is extensive coverage. And even if they don’t have extensive coverage, they will extend it by showing the same clips again and again until their equipment explodes or the viewers go berserk (or, if they are a bit more level-headed, they change the channel).
If the content is a little too staid, there are always the “attractive” (read: gaudy) sets, over the top captions and anchors in loud clothes and even louder voice. The news channels truly have a lot to offer, which I have been unable to cover in this post. I request you, dear reader to help make this post more comprehensive by contributing any points that may have been left out, or anything you want to say, through the comments. For more, watch this space.